What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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