Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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