I wish my penis had an off switch
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
