If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
