It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
