my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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