i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
