If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
