i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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