Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dicks are not precious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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