If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
