saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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