i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
