i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
