pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
