Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
