I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
