Please, let me fuck your mom
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
