I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
