we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he's single and there are thong briefs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
