i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
