im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
is wine microwaveable?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
