Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
