was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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