I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
