no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
