Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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