Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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