It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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