Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
two words: eviction party
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
