Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
