he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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