oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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