Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
