She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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