Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
