How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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