listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
