if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
