i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
