I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The struggles of a small town man whore
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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