The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
