Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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