i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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