Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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