i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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