the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
