looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
