then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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