ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
