you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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